Some Things In College Just Kick

College. Yes.

I realize that I am neglecting the true loves of my life by not writing on here. I've wanted to write for forever, but I was afraid to let you all down. Besides, I was much too busy failing a physics exam and writing my first book of haikus. Seriously.

The University is amazing. I mean you've gotta love the freedom, and great shoes, and no parents anywhere telling you what to do (thanks, meredith). There's just that whole thing that gets in my way... class. I will talk more extensively in this later, but for now I'd like to take a minute to reflect on 18 years.

Eighteen has literally come and gone. It feels so weird, like I no longer have an excuse to be reckless, I'm not going to be a teenager in a year. ...In one year, I will actually be required to be mature and responsible and rational. It's just that whole toothache that is putting a damper on my chipper mood. Reality. When did it become so real?

Well I guess I'm still making bad decisions. I'm still singing out loud. I'm still walking to and from the shower in my towel making the awkward kids blush. I'm still wearing those tight jeans and too-short shirts. I'm still angry and joyous and spontaneous and young. I'm still John and I'm still allowed to be awkward and free. I have a feeling that I'll always be eighteen on the inside. It was my favorite year so far, and it's tough to let it go. Who thought I'd be having a mid-life crisis at nineteen?

You know what they never tell you when you're off to college? It's going to be hard work. Everyone in college seems to leave that out when describing their experience, and I always put a damper on the mood when I bring it up. I guess I'll just let everyone out there live the lie that they can head off to college with as much vodka as they want... and a great job and lover will just fall into their hands.

People are breaking. Stress stress stress, and all I can do is turn nineteen and try to deny that I'm being tested. How powerful can I become? How bad do I want the life I'm choosing?