I would rather do physics than sit at home alone today.
My brain has been acting so oddly lately. Yesterday, I cleaned (against the will of my parents) for several hours while my sisters went to some faux-Christmas rave. Then, I watched Will and Grace for two hours, and a Christmas movie that I'm sure I missed the point of. Of course I couldn't fall asleep because I fed my stupid caffiene addiction that isn't going away.
I feel vicious, tired, and indifferent. Like I could kill something because I am bored. The problem is that you're in my way, and I actually like you. I wish I didn't, because fighting you would be so much easier. Motion City is writing my life, and I'm starting to hate that anyone else has ever heard of them. They should sing for only me, because I'm so emo. If I had my way, I would be an evil-doctor-rocket-science-monster with capabilities to destroy the entire universe.
Today is Christmas Eve, the first day that I've wished Christmas had passed weeks ago. I would give anything for it to be January 13th. I would give anything to be back at school. I would give anything to be wisdomtoothless already. I would give anything to be hated on by the pretty boys that won't say hi. I would give anything to be bothered by things that shouldn't bother me (instead of things that should).
The least you could do is take it back (all the vicious remarks and verbal attacks).
This is how I get when I get like this. Disjointed. Harmful. Volatile.
I spent a 1/2 hour yesterday reading an astology book on the floor of Barnes and Noble, because I couldn't bear to tear myself away to do something worthwhile, because I have nothing worthwhile to do (except clean, watch TV, and pick fights). My dad just made breakfast for five when there are only three people here. He told me he hopes I'm hungry (I'm not).
I don't know if you are listening, because I would've given up already. I just hope my parents bought me something to teach me Korean so I can focus on something else after we open these presents I haven't deserved for the past fifteen years.
I was nervous from the start that our muscles might tear us apart.
One day I'll fail to breathe, and all you'll have are memories.
I am tired and hungry and totally useless
(in this deparment).
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2 comments:
you are a word master, my goodness. well versed and unique...
and hey, there's nothing wrong with sitting on the floor of barnes and noble reading a book. there are few better ways to spend an afternoon ;)
i hope you had the merriest of christmas's. christmases? christmas's.
anyway, best of luck with the boredom thing. i know exactly what you mean- i'm stuck here 'till the 17th!
perhaps if we get some snow in this joint, we can reinact old times and go tobogganing. that will keep us entertained for a good five minutes.
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